Your child’s diagnosis of autism may come with feelings of uncertainty, loss of control and even a sense of isolation. It’s not easy to know who to turn to and typical parenting support doesn’t always meet the need.
But there’s help! Jamie McGillivary, Board Certified Behavior Analyst and President and Founder of Healing Haven in metro Detroit, encourages families to seek out support, especially from other families who have been there.
Here, we share McGillivary’s wisdom for recognizing the value of a support system and tips for building community around shared autism experiences.
Start now to connect and gain support
Connect with families through your ABA provider. Spark a conversation with parents in the waiting room at your ABA therapy clinic or encourage your child’s providers to explore options for including social support.
Healing Haven has hosted family dances and parent-planned community events designed to provide a social outlet for families to build supportive friendships. Even Healing Haven’s parent waiting rooms are designed to be a safe space for parents to connect, share experiences and support each other.
If you can’t find it, make it
Don’t be afraid to be proactive to gain the social support you need, McGillivary says.
“Make friends with other parents in your kids’ schools. Speak up and put yourself in the right place to tell your story. Some parents may not want to do that, but there is healing in being able to share with other people who understand what you are going through,” she adds.
When you begin to recognize how much you gain from connecting with people who are experiencing similar — if not identical — issues and challenges, you know the effort is worthwhile. And, as you share challenges, you’ll likely share joys, too.
“Sometimes parents put off developing social interactions because it never feels like there is enough time, but to really invest in support is an investment in your child,” McGillivary says. “Why do you take care of yourself? So you can take care of your child. If you are held up by your community and supported, that makes it all the easier to bear the struggles of the day-to-day.”
As the weather warms, plan a picnic at the park and invite like-minded people to join you. “Pick up your head and notice who is next to you when you are out and about,” McGillivary says. “They could be a person who can change your life — or you could change theirs. Connect with people. It’s as simple as that.”
Seek in-person support groups or online networks. Autism Alliance of Michigan may provide a starting point to finding your people.
Learn to extend grace
While you may have family and friends who provided love and support before your child was diagnosed with autism, you may gain a deeper level of compassion from people who can empathize with your experiences.
But what about situations where family members simply don’t acknowledge your child’s autism or its effects on your daily life? McGillivary encourages you to respond with kindness.
“Give people grace and know that they can’t truly understand something unless they’ve been in that position,” she says. “Arm people with as much knowledge as possible. The more they know, the more likely they are to come around. But again, to spend time with people and not have to explain yourself or your situation is freeing.”
By finding and creating your own support system you may find that your stress levels decrease, your social circles widen and your understanding of available resources grows. You may also find lifelong friendship, which is the best gift of all.
This content is sponsored by Healing Haven, serving metro Detroit families with autism therapy programs at several locations. Discover Healing Haven’s individualized approach for ages 2 to young adult.
