Why does it take my preschooler so long to get ready — and how can I help?

For toddlers and preschoolers with autism, play and choices can lower morning resistance

Young children move at their own speed. For a child with autism, mornings can feel even slower because the routine is packed with transitions: stop playing, get dressed, eat, brush teeth, shoes, leave. Why is that friction so common?

Why kids stall in the morning

“They just really want to play,” says Dr. Jannel Phillips, pediatric neuropsychologist at Henry Ford Health. For some young kids, leaving the house is stressful for another reason too. “Some of our young kids have separation anxiety.”

Make the routine feel safe, not rushed

Instead of pushing harder, Phillips suggests leaning into a warm tone and playful energy. “Meet them with as much fun and positive energy that you can muster in the morning,” she says. Music or a favorite toy can help. Some families even “walk” a toy through the routine so the child stays engaged from step to step.

Use choices to reduce power struggles

Toddlers crave independence. Keep choices tight and concrete: two outfits, two breakfast options, two acceptable shoes. This gives your child control without turning mornings into negotiations.

Dr. Phillips’ tips to remember: 

  • Keep the order of steps the same each day so your child knows what’s next
  • Build in extra time so you are not rushing and escalating the tone
  • Move screens out of the morning routine if they create meltdowns or delays

This content is sponsored by Henry Ford Health. Learn more about The GROW Center for Autism and Intellectual/Developmental Disabilities and The Henry Ford Center for Autism and Developmental Disabilities (CADD).

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